So being that Jaxson is an only child, he never really has anyone to fight with over things. His toys never have to be shared this house is basically all his. Now here is my dilemma. Since Jax never has to deal with confrontation he is completely lost as to what he is suppose to do when another child hits or pushes him. The momma bear in me wants to do things I know I’m not suppose to, but the grown up parent in me knows I need to teach Jaxson the proper way to handle situations as such. Why I'm bringing this up now when Jax is just only 16 months old you might ask.... Well yesterday we were faced with a situation in which Jaxson was pushed down to the floor.
Let me start from the beginning so you can understand the situation a bit better. Yesterday was Jaxson's baptism and a lunch reception was held afterwards at my house. A few children showed up and were all playing very nicely in the living room with Jaxson's toys (Jaxson oddly enough has no problem sharing any of his toys with the exception of his favorite monkey). However, one of Jax's second cousins pushed him to the floor for really no reason at all. Jaxson's face was priceless as he stared at the little girl with utter confusion and then let out a big cry. Arturo (my fiancé and Jax's dad) said as I was on my way to pick up Jaxson, "let them sort it out, don’t pick him up". Understandably, I know Arturo wants Jaxson to learn how to handle life situations and confrontations but how are they suppose to know if we don’t teach them? Are we suppose to just put them in a room and let them figure it out?.... I think not.
I come from a very old school Dominican back ground in which we were taught that if a kid hits you, you hit them right back. That doesn’t really quite work once you are out in the real world though. I can’t quite slap the bank lady just because she was rude or my mother in law when she is driving me up the wall (though I secretly do it in my mind lol). I have to find ways to make it work and not end up in jail or divorced before even being married lol.
Now that my son is growing up, I need to teach him the skills he needs to handle these kinds of situations. Yesterday when this happened I quickly picked him up, soothed him and then placed him in front of the little girl and said "No Hitting. Be nice please". They quickly got over it and continued playing. I want to teach Jaxson that when someone does something to him they are not suppose to or that hurts his feelings, he needs to use his words and find a way to make it work with that person. My parents never taught me that and as a result for a long time I just cut people out of my life because I hated and didn’t know proper confrontation.
Question of the day:
What do you do to teach your kids how to handle hitting, pushing and uncomfortable situations with other children?
I completely agree with everything in this post! If AJ is the "pusher" or "hitter", I demand he apologizes and gives hugs. I always say children learn it from somewhere- in my case AJ was pushed a few times too many, NOW when he sees kids that have done it or intimidate him, it's as if he's thinking "let me get you, before you get me"... None the less it's not acceptable.
ReplyDeleteNow if AJ is the one who was hit, then I wait to see how the parent of that child handles it, thankfully its always been acceptable, however I am prepared to talk to children and let them know being physical is not nice, and inform their parents of course.